It Was Worth The Embarrassment
by Cats070911
Summary: My response to a challenge from MorganNK to weave certain plotlines (three broad ideas) into coherent stories. I decided to put them into one story, an idea per chapter plus a few twists of my own. This is purely designed for fun, but if anyone is sensitive to fertility issues, this might not be for you.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** all usual disclaimers apply. Although attempting to be humorous, this story might strike a raw nerve for some, so I do not recommend reading it if fertility issues are likely to upset you.

This somewhat ridiculously far-fetched tale stems from a challenge by MorganaNK to work particular storylines into a coherent, readable story. A major flaw in my character is a tendency to try to prove the impossible...

* * *

Tommy lifted bacon from the fridge and took it over to the stove. He looked up when Barbara walked into the kitchen. "Morning, lovely." Barbara looked distressed. "What's wrong?"

"Just the usual."

He wiped his hands on the tea towel hanging from his pyjama pants and went over to her. "It's okay. There's always next month." He enveloped her in a hug and felt wet tears against his bare chest.

"We've been married three months, Tommy, and we weren't exactly particular about contraception before that. What if I can't get pregnant? What if I can't give you an heir?"

He nestled her closer to him and stroked her back. "I don't care. You know that. You're putting pressure on yourself that isn't there."

"But I want a baby. I want your child. I'm almost too old."

"It's more likely to happen when you relax and forget about it."

Barbara shoved him away. "That's easy for you to say!"

Tommy frowned. "Don't push me away, Barbara. I want you to be happy, and of course, I'd like a child with you."

Barbara rushed back to him. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. We'll keep practising. We both enjoy that."

"Hmmm. Yes."

Tommy kissed her, and it rapidly deepened. "We could practice now if you like." He kissed the spot on her neck that always made her giggle and squirm.

Afterwards, lying in bed, Tommy sensed Barbara was worrying again. He kissed her forehead as she snuggled against him. "Ready for breakfast now?"

"I don't deserve you."

"No, it's the other way around. I don't deserve such a wonderfully loving woman as my wife. Do you know I adore you? On so many levels."

"Yeah. That might wear thin when I fail in my duty to produce..."

Tommy kissed her to stop her saying it. It was starting to annoy him. Not that she felt that way, but that he could not convince her it did not matter to him. "It's obviously affecting you. Would you like me to make an appointment with someone in Harley Street? They can run a few tests and then we'll know. I'm sure he'll say 'just give it time', but it might let you relax."

Barbara nodded. "Tests like they make future princesses go through to check they're good breeding stock?"

"I doubt that that still happens." He stroked her hip and let his hand drift slowly over her stomach. "You certainly won't pass the virginity test."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"No, not at all." Tommy sucked gently on her earlobe. "Not at all."

* * *

"Lord and Lady Asherton," Tommy announced to the receptionist two weeks later.

"Ah yes. I see you filled in your questionnaires online. Just take a seat. Someone will be along shortly."

Tommy noticed several pregnant women sitting in the waiting room. He made sure he kept a firm, reassuring grip on Barbara's hand while they waited. "It'll be fine."

"Easy for you to say. They're not going to prod around in your internals."

"We can leave if you'd prefer."

Barbara shook her head. "No, sorry. I'm just worried what he'll say."

Tommy leant close and whispered, "he'll say you have the most glorious looking body that he's ever seen, so it's no surprise that you make your husband incredibly aroused just thinking about it. He'll also say that you have to make love to me three times a day."

Barbara laughed, which was a good sign. "What if he says we need to abstain from sex to build up your reserve of swimmers?"

Now Tommy laughed. "We'll get a second opinion."

Barbara chuckled and leant her head against my shoulder. "I love you, Lord A."

"And I love you, Lady A."

They waited for ten minutes before a large woman in an old-fashioned blue nurse's uniform strode up to them. "Lord Asherton?"

"Yes."

The woman thrust a sterile yellow-topped sample jar towards him. "Sperm sample, please. We have visual aids in the cubicle to assist you, or you may take your wife in. The sample has to be uncontaminated, though, so please ejaculate directly into this jar."

Tommy felt as if the whole waiting room was staring at him. "I don't require visual aids," he said, his voice almost an octave higher than normal. Barbara's mouth had clamped shut into a tight line to suppress what he knew would be a loud and savage laugh - at his expense. "My wife will help me."

Barbara gasped and went as red as her husband. Neither could get into the cubicle fast enough. "They'll think I'm going to..."

"Yes?" Tommy asked playfully.

"Milk you."

"I was hoping you would."

Barbara's eyes went wide. "You want me to give you a head job in here?"

"I'd like that, but no, we might contaminate the sample." Tommy guided her hand to the swelling lump in his trousers. "But I don't feel right masturbating when my wife is watching."

Barbara's eyes went doey. "I might like to watch. I've never seen you do it," she said, taking heavy breaths.

"I haven't needed to since I've been with you. You're more than enough for any man."

"You make that sound like a bad thing."

"Oh, most certainly not." Tommy unzipped his trousers and freed himself. While Barbara ran her fingers over his growing erection, he unscrewed the lid from the sample jar. "Like this," he said as he bent her hands around him into a fist, moving it up and down the shaft. "Slowly, then harder as I get closer."

He moved his hand away, and Barbara tightened her grip and mimicked his actions. "Like this?"

"Oh hell yes!" Tommy kissed her. "It's so much better when you do it."

He studied her face as she concentrated on what she was doing to him. Even though he was in the room for this purpose, he was surprised at how much the situation excited him. He thought they might add some other more forbidden locations to their lovemaking in future. Barbara's face flushed as she worked her hand faster. He was getting close. He leant down and kissed her. "Oh, Barbara. Harder... faster."

Tommy tried to watch Barbara and what she was doing. Seeing her lick her lips as her hand pumped him, he felt his orgasm begin. "Jar. Quick."

They both stared as he came, pumping his seed into the small plastic container. Barbara screwed on the lid and held it up to the light. "There's more than I thought."

"Don't do that. I don;t want to look." He kissed her hard. "Thank you. That was rather wonderful, but I'll always prefer to come inside you."

"You're welcome." Barbara squirmed and pulled on the side of her jeans. Tommy knew the signs. She was frustrated. As he kissed her, he skillfully unzipped her and slid his hand down into her underwear. "Tommy! Behave."

"No. I don't want my highly aroused wife being touched by a strange man." He wiggled his fingers between her hot, swollen folds. She was as wet and silky as he had imagined. Within thirty seconds of his gentle touch, she clamped her legs closed and muted her cry in his shoulder.

Still red-faced, they rearranged their clothes and returned to the waiting room. The nurse came back. Tommy discreetly handed her his jar. To his horror, she also held it up to the light. "That was quick. And a nice big specimen."

"It's not funny," he said to Barbara as the nurse strode away. "All those women looked at me."

"I know. The one in blue fancies you. The one is red thinks you are too good looking to be with me, and the heavily pregnant one wishes her husband was as caring as you."

"And you?"

"Oh, I fancy you, I think you are too good looking for me, but I am glad that you are as caring."

Tommy squeezed her hand. "I want to kiss you."

"In public? Not very becoming, Your Lordship."

"I know, but you can imagine it. My tongue tickling..."

"Lady Asherton." Tommy felt Barbara jump as a different nurse called her. This one had pinched features and glasses that made her eyes look too big for her face.

"Yes."

"This way please." Tommy went to stand. "Not you, Lord Asherton, just your wife."

Barbara smiled tightly at him. "Be back soon."


	2. Chapter 2

Tommy read three National Geographics and a copy of The Economist while he waited. The latter contained an interesting article on a Namibian serial killer who had once been a famous war photographer. He threw the magazine back on the pile and glanced at his watch.

"I think they found something," Barbara said as she returned from the room.

Tommy took her hand. It was clammy and warm. He brought it to his lips and kissed it. "Whatever it is, we'll be fine."

Before he could ask more details, they were called into the doctor's office. Dr Harris was a tall man with a sharp face dominated by a nose that twisted in three directions. Tommy assumed his fame as flanker for the First XV at Oxford had come at a cost.

"Lord and Lady Asherton. A pleasure to meet you both." They exchanged pleasantries before Harris turned serious. "My notes say you are concerned about your failure to conceive."

Barbara flushed red. "Yes. We've been sleeping together for over six months, and nothing's happened."

"Well firstly, after thirty-five female fertility declines steeply, especially in women who have not conceived up to that point."

"But..."

"That said, Lady Asherton, conception is possible and likely." Barbara squeezed Tommy's hand.

"Good."

"Before we discuss the tests, I should ask about your sexual practices. How often do you have sex?"

Barbara squeezed Tommy's hand. "Most nights," he answered, "sometimes more on our days off."

"And you always orgasm, Lord Asherton?"

"Er, yes. I thought that was normal."

"It is, but some men can't or choose not to. What about you Lady Asherton?"

Beside him, Barbara emitted an anguished yelp. "Hmm, yes."

"During intercourse or as part of foreplay?" Harris asked.

Barbara hesitated. "Usually both," she muttered.

"Good. It's not imperative for conception, but we believe it makes the female more receptive to sperm. However, our tests uncovered a few things you should be aware of."

Tommy now gripped Barbara more tightly. "Yes, Doctor?"

Harris smiled at him in a very public school way, and Tommy hoped Barbara had not noticed. "Lord Asherton, you appear satisfactorily healthy. Your ejaculate volume was quite high at almost 6 millilitres. Sperm concentration was, ah yes, here it is, nearly 120 million sperm per millilitre and the p.H was within the normal range. Motility was good at over 60%, and it seems 70% of the sperm were viable. For a man your age, you are very fertile. We will, of course, send the sample off for DNA testing, just to look for any potential genetic issues."

Tommy was not sure what to say. Barbara spoke first. "So it is me!"

"Did I say that, Lady Asherton?" Harris chided.

"If it's not Tommy..."

"Your pelvic ultrasound was interesting, but nothing indicated fertility issues. Your ovarian volume is normal, and there was a follicle present indicating recent ovulation. We did find two medium sized cysts, one one your ovary and the other endometrial on the fundus."

"English," Barbara demanded.

"One is on the outside of your uterus."

"Are they harmful?" Tommy asked.

"No, they appear to be contact cysts where the uterus and ovary have rubbed together."

Barbara frowned. "I thought everything in there was lubricated. Why would they rub together?"

Harris looked down at his papers and Tommy noticed the doctor's assuredness falter. "It is usually caused when your uterus is enlarged prior to menstruation and... when vigorous sex occurs with a well-endowed man. The uterus and ovaries do not normally touch, but when they do, rubbing can cause cysts to form."

Despite it being a serious matter, Tommy smiled. Barbara hit his knee with the back of her hand. He tried to look serious. Harris was oblivious to their interplay. "Do you remember feeling any pain during intercourse Lady Asherton."

Barbara blushed. "A bit, in the beginning, but I'm er, used to his size now."

Now Tommy blushed but was alarmed. "You never said that I hurt you!"

"You didn't. Not really. Other than that first night."

"Oh gracious, that. Don't remind me."

Harris studied them. "Do I understand you were a virgin, Lady Asherton?"

Barbara looked down. "Technically, no, I had done it once before, about 15 years ago. That was very quick and nasty."

"So may I ask what happened on your first night together?"

Tommy and Barbara looked at each other. "It's a little embarrassing doctor," Tommy said.

"Believe me; I have heard almost everything sitting in this chair. It might help me understand your issue."

Barbara groaned then looked down. "Just tell him, Tommy."

"Barbara and I had been colleagues and friends for years. Gradually we had become closer, and I think we both knew we loved each other. Neither of us had dared say anything or act. One night we were returning from York with two colleagues. There was an accident on the motorway, and we were all tired. I suggested we stop the night at a pub rather than drive back and down through the west."

"Hmm, go on."

"Barbara and I had a shared bathroom. I forgot to lock the door, and she walked in on me when I had just showered." Tommy looked across at Barbara and smiled.

"He was standing there, dripping wet, with nothing but a towel over him and a huge grin on his face. I'd seen him in a towel before, but not like that."

"Barbara only had on a tight t-shirt that left nothing to the imagination and well, when you've wanted to make love to someone for a long time..."

"So you had sex then? In the bathroom?" Harris asked.

"Not immediately," Tommy replied, annoyed that Harris was making something beautiful sound tawdry. "I blurted out a semi-rehearsed speech about love and respect then I kissed her. Barbara indicated that my feelings were reciprocated. We went to my room and made love, slowly and gently."

"But it was painful for you, Lady Asherton?"

"No. It was wonderful. Tommy was tender and considerate. The problem came at the end."

"At the end?"

Tommy sighed. There was nothing to gain by delaying telling him. "It was the first time Barbara had climaxed during intercourse. She had a very powerful orgasm which caused me to, well, you can imagine. The issue was that her muscles locked up."

"Locked up?"

"I was unable to remove myself. We were trapped together."

Harris looked up and raised his eyebrows. "Penis captivus? That is rare but not unheard of, especially with an older woman being introduced to intercourse." Barbara scowled at the doctor, who smiled at her. "So how long before your muscles relaxed?"

"Arghh."

Tommy put his arm around her shoulder. "I thought it would pass, so we waited. We kept kissing and talking. It wasn't particularly painful for either of us so long as I didn't try to withdraw. I didn't know it was hurting you, Barbara."

"It was just the muscles being so tight. It wasn't your fault."

"And?" Harris demanded impatiently.

"We waited about half an hour and then... called for help."

The doctor's mouth twitched, and he looked away. "Ah, that must have been traumatic."

Tommy remembered their argument. He wanted to call Stuart, but Barbara had been mortified at the thought of their colleagues knowing. In the end, they had no choice. "One of our colleagues is a pathologist. We thought he might be able to assist."

"And did he?"

Barbara growled. "Only by laughing!"

The corner of Harris' mouth curled slightly. "Hmm."

"He called an ambulance. We were taken to A&E, where they administered muscle relaxants."

"And that worked?"

"Yes, fortunately. It took about an hour. Neither of us wanted to be surgically released."

"It was bad enough, but by the time we got back to London, everybody at work knew. They even had pictures of us in the ambulance," Barbara told the doctor. "I could have killed Stuart. We had to front our boss and explain."

"It worked out well, though," Tommy said with a smile. "He wanted to punish Barbara, so she resigned, and so did I."

"Because of the double-standard?" Harris asked.

"No, because I couldn't live without her. I proposed on the spot, which I think surprised Barbara."

"And Hillier. You were just as shocked when I said yes."

Tommy grinned at her. "I was delighted."

"Hmm. And the next time you had sex, did you experience the same issue?"

"Barbara was reluctant to risk it a second time. It took me nearly a month to convince her that the rewards outweighed the risk. We had muscle relaxants on hand, but there was no issue."

"And nothing since?"

"No," Barbara reassured them both. "Everything's been... perfect."

The doctor studied them carefully. "Are you putting pressure on your wife to produce an heir, Lord Asherton?"

Barbara sat upright in her chair. "No! Tommy has been the one who says it doesn't matter. I'm the one fretting about it."

The doctor nodded. "Sometimes we find that when couples, especially the woman, get anxious about conception, their bodies detect the fear and respond by doing exactly the opposite of what they want. My initial advice is to book a holiday in two months to somewhere you both really want to go and focus on that rather than on conceiving. You might find you are pregnant before you go or conceive during your holiday. If not, when you return we can consider options to assist."

"Tommy said you'd probably say that."

"But knowing nothing is wrong should ease your mind, Lady Asherton."


	3. Chapter 3

"Spain?" Tommy asked.

"Too hot."

"Paris? The city of love." Tommy wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck.

"Too crowded."

"We could walk the South West Coast Path around Cornwall."

Barbara raised her eyebrows and stared at him. "And where would we stay?"

"Pitch a tent."

"Camping? Remember what happened to Nicola Maiden and Gerry Cole. I don't camp."

Tommy grinned at her. He had known exactly what she would say. "What about Switzerland?"

"Too precise."

"Precise? Alright, your turn. You don't want to go too far, so South America and Australia are out."

"Too many things want to kill you in Australia."

Although it was tempting, Tommy did not express his sympathy with them. They had spent an hour doing a virtual tour of the globe and were still no closer to selecting somewhere to holiday. "Where do you want to go?"

"Somewhere quiet." Barbara put her hand on the collar of his shirt. "Somewhere romantic. Somewhere with a large bed and a huge bathroom."

"Ah, I see." Tommy pulled her against him. "So location is not a criterion."

"Not really. I don't fancy a grand tour. Just you."

Their mouths crashed together hungrily. "Then... leave it... to me," he said between kisses.

* * *

Tommy steadfastly refused to indicate where they were going except to tell her to pack lightly and take a warm jacket just in case. His plan to drive rather than fly also lessened her risk of guessing. On the morning they were leaving, Barbara was smooching, and less than subtly interrogating him. "Surely I should know where we are going now."

"Why? It's a surprise. But it meets all of your criteria. Not crowded, not precise, not too hot, not too far."

Barbara tickled his side. "You aren't going to tell me, are you?"

"No." His grin was broad. He was trying hard not to wriggle and laugh as her fingers sought more ticklish flesh. "Stop that."

"I intend to get an answer, even if I have to torture you."

Tommy waited until just the right moment then grabbed her wrists and rolled her onto her back. "I don't think so." He bent down and kissed her neck before tracing a path down to her navel with his tongue. Barbara groaned, and he released her arms. They were going to be leaving a little later than he had intended.

* * *

All the way to France, Barbara chatted happily. Although he had taken an indirect route to Folkstone, Barbara soon guessed where they were heading and tried to get Tommy to divulge their ultimate destination.

"You're no fun at all."

Tommy reached over and ran the tip of his finger up her thigh. "You didn't say that this morning."

Barbara pulled a face and folded her arms. "And I thought we vowed to share everything."

"I will. I just don't remember there being a time limit on it."

"How long before we arrive?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight? Are you planning on driving all day?"

"Yes."

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"No. Watching you trying to guess is far more fun."

* * *

Quaint red-roofed farmhouses and villages with tall steeples poked above green fields that flashed by on either side of the motorway as Tommy sped east.

"It's beautiful here. Are we heading for a farm?"

Tommy ignored his wife's faux innocent smile. "I'm not going to tell you; so you can drop the charm act. Just wait, Miss Impatience."

Barbara poked her tongue out at him. "Spoilsport."

"Careful, the wind might change."

They had driven for three hours before Tommy pulled into a petrol station to refuel. Barbara got out to stretch her legs while he filled the empty tank. He glanced at his watch. "I suppose we should stop for lunch, but we are later than I anticipated thanks to a certain wily woman."

"You didn't say no this morning."

"Oh, it was well worth it." Tommy put his arm around her waist then gave her bottom a playful slap.

"Oi! Don't bruise the merchandise. We could just grab a croissant and coffee here if you like."

"You don't mind?"

"No, as long as you promise me we are going somewhere with a decent pub for dinner."

Tommy leant forward and gave her a quick kiss. "I have reservations somewhere you will enjoy."

Barbara grinned at him. "Do you want a cappuccino or long black?"

* * *

Just before six in the evening, Tommy found the road he wanted. He turned left and wound down a series of tight hairpins. Dense copses of conifers were broken only by sheer grey granite walls that appeared on their left every few hundred yards. A deer darted across the road. Tommy braked hard and watched it's white rump disappear into the forest. He slowed the Bristol as they continued their descent.

"There's water over there!" Barbara said pointing to his right.

Tommy looked up quickly to see pink evening light glistening off the sapphire water. "That's Lac du Bourget, where we will spend the next few weeks. I think you'll enjoy it."

At the base of the mountain, the road flattened but still clung to the contours of the cliffs. Small waterfalls trickled over the rocks set back in channels worn from years of torrential rains. The size of the lake was now evident through breaks in the trees, stretching for miles in both directions.

Gravelled, tree-lined driveways marked by ornate stone pillars appeared every few hundred yards, suggesting sizeable chateaus dotted the shoreline. Barbara turned her head at odd angles to get a glimpse out of the windscreen. "Some money along here," Barbara remarked as she pointed to a large white mansion with a steep slate roof.

"Hmm." Tommy had never thought about that aspect. Barbara challenged his assumptions and made him look differently at the world. He was privileged and now far more grateful for it.

Gravel crunched under his tyres as he turned into a driveway. "This house belongs to my friend, Henry Montague."

Tommy had visited the house once before and had been startled by it. Now he waited for Barbara's reaction. He drove slowly along a dark corridor of fir trees. The treeline stopped abruptly, and formal French gardens with neatly clipped hedges and manicured lawns stretched for half a mile towards the large house. Cherubic fountains added a dash of whimsy to the postcard beauty of the scene. They were at odds with the broad, menacing moat in front of the house.

"Holy... er, wow!"

Tommy grinned from ear to ear. "I knew you'd be impressed."

"It's... a castle."

"Not really, it's just designed to look like one. Henry's great uncle built it in the 1930s. He wanted a medieval castle but, his wife wanted an Art Deco house, so they compromised. When I first came here, I thought it looked like the architect designed it during an opium dream."

"I don't see much Art Deco."

"You will."

Tommy glanced over the building. He agreed, from the front it looked like the domain of a an angry king determined to protect his court from marauders. In the left corner there was a round turret topped with a timber-shingled cone. A large flagpole protruded from the top with a limp French flag draped around it. The other corner had a crenelated square tower that rose several stories above the house. Like the round turret, it was finished in heavy blocks of grey granite hewn from the cliffs they had driven past earlier. The middle, by contrast, was softened by the soft cream plaster so typical of French villas. Large windows, surrounded by the grey stones, undermined the classical battlements with merions and cross-shaped arrow slits that rested above them.

Barbara sighed. "I can see soldiers in chainmail running along the wall repelling invaders by day and lovers with long ladders visiting their women by night."

"You read too many romance novels. I see huge maintenance bills."

Barbara hit him on his arm. "You're supposed to be feeling romantic."

He winked at her. "I packed a ladder in my suitcase."

Tommy drove carefully over the wooden drawbridge and parked near the enormous iron gate. He keyed in a code on the keypad near the entrance. The gate clanked and rattled as it slowly began to rise revealing a small entranceway leading to an imposing timber door. Tommy turned the handle, and they stepped into The Great Gatsby. A cubist inspired double staircase dominated the huge foyer. Its rich browns and grey marble framed a series of bas relief sculptures of Greek gods above dark timber doors inlaid with golden sunrise motifs. The marble floor was dominated by squares within squares within diamonds; all in different hues of black and pink marble.

"Bloody hell!"

Lynley put his arm around Barbara's shoulder and kissed her head. "Yes, it is a bit like that."

Tommy took her hand and led her upstairs and down the corridor towards the back of the house. "A large bedroom and bathroom were on your list, madame."

Tommy opened the door. To the left, highlighted by gold and chocolate wallpaper, there was a huge bed raised on a platform. The headboard and footboard were bold, with gold squares embossed at the junction of the grainy walnut wooden panels. Barbara ignored that and wandered over to the wall of French doors.

She walked onto the broad terrace that overlooked the lake. Tommy followed and wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Happy?"

"Very." She turned in his arms and kissed him. "Thank you."

"There's a pool over there, and that path leads down to the lake. Oh, my... Don't look."

Barbara laughed and turned to exactly where he had asked her not to look. "Who's that?"

"I don't know." Tommy tried to avoid looking at the naked woman running into the treeline.

"She's very attractive."

"I don't care, she's naked."

"Oh, Tommy," Barbara said with a laugh, "I never thought you were so conservative."

"I'm not," he protested, " but the only woman I want to see naked is you." He kissed the back of her neck. "Now."


	4. Chapter 4

This chapter is for Tess. I hope it meets your requirements... wink. And yes, it contains nudity, adult themes and sex scenes.

* * *

"Now?" Barbara glanced around then began to unbutton her shirt.

"What are you doing?!"

Barbara began to slide her blouse off her shoulders. "You wanted to see me naked."

"In private, not out here." Despite his protests, he made no attempt to stop her. "What if that woman comes back?"

"She won't." Barbara let her shirt fall onto the tiles. "She was as startled as you. She probably comes here to sunbake or something and didn't know anyone would be in the house. We're quite alone. We can't be seen by anyone."

Tommy had watched her eyes as she spoke. They sparkled with the same slightly-forbidden need that he had seen in the doctor's cubicle. His body had already decided this was a good idea but when he glanced down and noticed her bra had joined her shirt, he surrendered. "I married a wanton woman."

"Is that a complaint?" Barbara slid her hands under his jumper and lifted it over his head.

Tommy shook his head. "No."

"Good." She ran her hand over the rapidly expanding bulge in his jeans.

"Do you have any idea how much I want to..." His words were swallowed by her kiss as her hands expertly unzipped his jeans and pulled him free.

"Hmm, yes I think I do."

Barbara stepped back and let her own jeans puddle around her naked feet. Tommy wondered when she had removed her shoes and socks. She leant back against the stone balustrade and kicked her jeans away, leaving her just in a skimpy thong that left little to his imagination.

"I've never seen you in one of those."

"Well, I knew you'd bring me somewhere romantic. I thought I'd be ready for anything."

He went to undo his button to take off his jeans. "No, leave them on."

"Barbara?" Tommy moved closer and pressed his erection against her stomach before he kissed her hard. Her tongue fought his in a furious battle as she guided his erection between her thighs and clamped them tightly around him. Tommy pushed gently, then harder trying to gain access to her. Rewarded with only the barest sensation of wetness, he groaned. "Barbara, please, let me in."

"I want to watch the view," she said as she placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away.

"So do I, but not the lake." Tommy stepped back and let her turn away from him. He embraced her and teased her nipples with his fingers, pinching them hard enough to make her cry out. Barbara leant forward, spreading her legs and pushing her backside against his groin. Tommy ran his fingertips down either side of her spine, lingering over her hips as he contemplated removing her thong. Instead he used his finger to run over the thin, damp cloth. "You want me, don't you, Barbara?"

"Mmmmmm."

Tommy replaced his finger with his erection and gently rubbed back and forth. "You want me now?"

"Yes."

With minimal effort, he edged aside the narrow band of cloth and into the wetness. "Oh, Barbara. You have no idea how much I love being in... here." Tommy entered her with a sharp jab.

"Oh, yes!" Barbara began to rock back against him.

"Slow down, or I won't last. You wanted to look at the view." Tommy leant over and kissed her back before lifting her up against him.

"To hell with the view. It's a lake."

Tommy felt her gripping him tightly. He leant forward allowing her to brace against the balustrade. He grabbed her thighs and let his fingers wander as he began to move slowly. Barbara bucked against him, forcing him to speed up. Tommy obliged, forcing himself deep inside her. "Is this what you want?"

"Yes! Oh, god, YES!" Barbara clamped around him.

Tommy watched her back and the way her head was pushed up. He glanced over her at the water glistening in the fading light. The cool scent of pine mingled with the scent of a very hot woman. She groaned loudly then pushed back, stretching tightly around him. Her womb rubbed on just the right spot. Tommy could hold back no more. "I love you!" Barbara froze as his voice echoed off the trees. "I love you," he said again at half the volume.

* * *

They gathered their clothes and scurried inside. "That was..."

"Amazing?" Tommy asked.

She stood on tippy-toes and kissed him. "I was going to say fun."

Tommy picked her up and swung her around. "It was more than fun, Mrs Lynley, and I intend to shag you senseless over the next few days."

"I thought babies came from gentle lovemaking."

"Oh, there'll be plenty of that too."

"Then I'll need dinner to keep up my strength."

Tommy gave her a quick kiss. "Shower?"

"Yes."

Hand-in-hand they walked through to the bathroom. Grey and pink marble in a miniature version of the square and diamond pattern in the foyer decorated the floor and extended half way up the walls. Above the marble, the walls were painted in a shimmering gold mitre pattern with a black frieze of naked Greek gods near the ceiling.

"What the hell? It's huge!"

Tommy laughed at his wife's reaction. He had expected something opulent, but he was not prepared for the sheer size of the long, rectangular room dominated by a giant window that looked down the lake. There were no trees or curtains to obscure the view and the lights of the towns on the opposite shore reflected off the water in streaks of red and yellow. Under the window, a large tiled jacuzzi, easily able to seat a dozen people, bubbled and steamed.

"Is that the shower?" Barbara asked as she stared a rainfall shower head, the size of a ceiling fan, that hung over a shallow depression in the centre of the room.

Tommy looked around. "I think so. Unless there's another one behind that wall."

Barbara walked over to the grey marbled wall that hid part of the room. She opened the frosted glass door and laughed. "This is the toilet, and it's made of gold."

Tommy rested his head on her shoulder then kissed her neck. "A throne for my queen."

"Haha. What's behind that door then?"

Barbara moved across the room and opened the glossy black door. The room beyond was dark. She fumbled for the light-switch. "Holy hell!"

Tommy followed her into the room and stopped in his tracks. She turned around and frowned at him with a hint of a smile. "I had no idea. I swear."

"I've only ever read about these things. I've never seen them." She walked over and selected a small whip from the collection of six hanging on the wall. "It's like Christian Grey's playroom!"

Tommy stared at the apparatus on display. Everything was neatly stored in groups. Beside the whips, handcuffs - fluffy, steel and even barbed - hung below a collection of riding crops of different lengths and gauges. Three shelves displayed an array of dildos and vibrators, some of them shockingly large. Ropes, scarves and strips of fur hung beside them. On the other side there was a collection of masks and outfits. Some were leather, others studded and chained and even more in fur or rubber. To the left there was a table with straps and holes. He did not even dare contemplate how that was used. On the right was a bed that raised or lowered to different levels. "It's so cliched."

"Your friend Henry is a bit kinky."

Barbara picked up a riding crop and before Tommy could move, she had flicked him on the soft flesh where his thigh met his rump. "Yow! Barbara!"

"Sorry. I couldn't resist."

He rubbed his wound. "You don't know where that's been."

She pointed to a sign above the whips. "It says all equipment is replaced or sterilised after each visitor. I think Henry runs a retreat for BDSM enthusiasts. Probably makes good money."

"Not from me. Get dressed. We'll find somewhere else to stay."

Barbara began to laugh. "Oh, Tommy. Don't be such a prude."

He stared at her. "You want to use this room?"

"No. But we can close the door and ignore it."

"I don't know. Once you know it's here..."

"Or we could experiment with one or two items."

"Barbara!"

She doubled over with laughter. "The look on your face."

"I'm sorry if I'm too conservative for you, but I think two people should be able to satisfy each other without needing to resort to... accessories."

Barbara took his hand. "We can. I was just toying with you." She started to laugh at her own joke.

Tommy pulled her against him. "Sometimes it is tempting to tie you up and gag you."

"The gags are over there. Next to the blindfolds."

"Hmm. I do like the idea of blindfolding you. Maybe I could do that then tie you to that big bed outside and let my tongue wander across your skin."

"Stop it."

"Why? Sorry, did I frighten you? I would never hurt..."

"No. You started to turn me on."

Tommy grinned wickedly. "Did I? I'll bear that in mind. If we don't go for dinner, we'll never get there."

"We left our bags downstairs."

"You shower while I fetch them. If we shower together, we'll go hungry."

Tommy whistled to himself as he went downstairs. This week might prove to be very interesting indeed. He took a bag in each hand and turned to go back upstairs when movement caught his eye.

"Good evening, Sir."

Tommy turned. The woman he had seen dashing across the lawn was standing in front of him dressed in a black and white maid's outfit. "Good..." The woman was staring at his groin and smiling. Tommy dropped the bags and moved his hands to hide his manhood. "Who are you?" he hissed.

"Antoinette, the maid."

"The maid? I didn't know there was a maid."

"I come here twice a day. In the morning to clean and wash and in the evening to prepare the beds."

"Thank you, but we won't need your services during our stay."

"But, Sir, this is my only income."

"I'll pay double for you not to come here. How much do you earn per week?"

The woman smiled. "Five hundred and fifty euros."

"For part time cleaning?"

"Oui. Some guests leave the party room in quite a state."

Tommy felt his face go red. "Lady Asherton and I will not be using that room. I'll leave eight hundred euros on an envelope on the hall table. Please do not come back."

"Merci. Oui. I'll not return." She took one last glance at his hands and licked her lips. After a cheeky courtesy, she walked out the front door.

Tommy waited until he saw her collect her bike and pedal up the driveway before he grabbed the bags and scurried up the stairs. Barbara was standing in a towel drying her hair.

"What took so long?"

"I ran into Antoinette, the maid. It was that woman we saw earlier."

Barbara grinned at him. "Was she dressed?"

"Yes, but..." He quickly told her the story.

Barbara fell into the bed laughing. "Oh, Tommy."

He leapt on the bed beside and nestled against her. "It's not funny. She had an eyeful of everything."

Barbara kissed him. "Yes, it is funny. Very funny."

Tommy tugged at her towel. "You might regret laughing at your husband."

Barbara laughed again. "You do realise she was probably in the house watching us on the terrace."

Tommy groaned and and buried his face in her neck.


	5. Chapter 5

Barbara sank into the honeycomb-coloured leather of the club chair. She stretched her neck and scowled at Tommy as she ran her hands over the walnut timber armrest that curved to the floor. "Let's go up the mountain you said. It'll be fun you said. What you didn't say was that you intended to walk."

Tommy looked across and smiled. She was beautiful when she was angry. Her eyes glinted like emeralds. "It was fun."

"My calves and quads don't think so. I thought at least at the top we'd be alone and could maybe enjoy ourselves."

"Hmm, so did I. I had no idea they'd built a road up there, or that there would be that busload of Chinese tourists."

"They took photos of me, all hot and sweaty, as if I were a circus freak. And they drooled over you. That young one with the blue shirt especially. I thought she was going to try and kidnap you."

"Smuggle me to China in her backpack?" Tommy handed her a drink then bent down and kissed her. "I love it when you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous. If you want to run off and be a sex slave in the Orient, so be it. Go. See if I care."

Tommy pulled her from the chair, spun around and dragged her onto his lap as he sat. He kissed her hard and, as he expected, she responded with vigour. "I'm your sex slave; no one else's. And I'm ready for service, Mistress."

Barbara's false pout dissolved into a smile. "What did you have in mind?"

"The slave must answer his mistress's wishes."

"Then we should visit the playroom."

Tommy could not conceal his shock. "What? No! If I can't satisfy you without that then I'm failing my job."

"Of course you satisfy me. But aren't you curious?"

"To wear rubber or be beaten? No, not in the slightest."

Barbara stroked his face. "Nothing like that. Trust me."

"Is that a question or a statement?"

Barbara laughed. "Both. Please. Just this once."

Tommy frowned. Marital aids were not something he had ever considered necessary, but he knew Barbara would not let it rest until he agreed. "I refuse to hit you in any way. And I don't wish to be hit."

"Agreed. I promise."

Barbara stood and offered her hand. Tommy accepted and walked soberly upstairs. "Are you sure you wouldn't prefer a jacuzzi? It would ease those aches."

"Afterwards. Let's use the bed in the playroom."

In Tommy's view, the bed was a cliche with its black satin sheets and dubious number of rings and straps embedded into the red leather bedhead. Barbara, however, seemed fascinated by it. "Now strip off and lie on the bed. I'll be back in a minute," she ordered as she dimmed the lights to a candle-like glow.

"What are you going to do?"

"Nothing bad. I promise."

Tommy acquiesced and removed his shirt and shorts. Like Barbara he had hoped to make love on the mountain, so had not worn any underwear. As he lay on the bed, he wondered what she had in mind. Despite his protests, the feel of the cool slippery sheets against his skin was erotic. The idea of being slightly naughty was beginning to have some appeal.

"Give me your hand." Tommy held up his arm. Barbara clamped a fur-lined manacle around it. "There's a catch here that you can reach with your thumb. It will undo the handcuff if you really can't stand it."

Tommy watched as she connected the other end to one of the rings on the bedhead. She repeated it with his other hand. "You want me at your mercy?"

"Yes." Her voice caught as she spoke.

"I always am."

Tommy smiled as her eyes slowly devoured his body. She moved to the foot of the bed and shackled his ankles. Tommy spread his feet to find he could only separate them by about two feet but that she had not tied him to the bed.

"I see this is not totally abhorrent." Barbara stood above him and gently stroked his leg. She slowly took off her clothes, and the sight of her body made him give in to his body's response.

Barbara leant over him and kissed him. He was distracted and did not notice her slip on a blindfold until he opened his eyes. "You don't want me to watch?"

"No. I want to... tease you."

"I think I'll like that."

"Me too."

His leg tingled. Tommy tried to guess what she was brushing him with - a feather, then fur? Something cool dripped onto his thigh, making him groan.

"Stop thinking. Just enjoy."

"Mmmm."

Barbara's tongue surprised him when she licked around the outside of his ear. How could she do that when she was still brushing his leg?

Her tongue tickled a path from his forehead, over the bridge of his nose and down towards his mouth. Tommy tried to move to kiss her, but she skillfully avoided him. "Barbara..."

"Shhh. I'm in charge of this one."

"You're always in charge. I just try to please you."

"You do." She finally rewarded him with his kiss. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and pulled at his restraints. He thought about releasing his wrists, but it would spoil whatever she had planned. He needed to lie back and let her take her pleasure.

For the next ten minutes Barbara took him on a sensual journey. Tommy focussed on every tantalising stroke, trying to guess where Barbara was and what part of her body or what object she was using to stimulate him. Hot, cold, rough, light, smooth and heavy textures caressed his body, carefully avoiding contact with the part he wanted her most to touch. She had surprised him twice with deep kisses, each time leaving him needing her more.

"Barbara, please. Kiss me. Let me inside you."

"All in good time. You want to feel me encasing this do you?"

"Oooooh, yes." Barbara was brushing the underside of his penis with something incredibly soft. Silk perhaps? She slid it up and down a few times before turning her attention to his swollen balls. "I... oooh... won't... oh! Last if you... keep... oh good... Oh!" The bed dipped. At first Tommy was not sure if the heat and wetness engulfing him was Barbara or one of her objects. As she clamped around him he knew. "Oh, mmm... I love you. Take this blindfold off. Let me... Oh! Watch."

"No. I want to study you. Watch your face."

"But I... can't..."

"Don't. Give in to Tommy. Let me feel how much you love me."

He inhaled deeply. Barbara was moving rhythmically up and down. Tommy began to drive his hips up into her. "I do love you. More than I can ever say." As she growled and gripped him hard, his mind conjured up her face. Her eyes burned into him. His wrists hurt as he pulled against the restraints. "Arrrggghhhhhhhhhhh!"

Barbara rested on his chest, her breath rustling the hair above his heart. Tommy wanted to hold her. He fidgeted trying to find the release catches and was relieved to lower his aching arms. He pulled off his blindfold and wrapped them around her. "That was intense."

"Mmm, I liked watching your face when you felt the different sensations."

"The blindfold did add some anticipation, I must admit. I never thought I would enjoy being under someone's power."

"It wasn't about taking control. It was about trust. You still keep things from me, Tommy. I wanted you to know what it felt like to be completely vulnerable and know that I'd never hurt you."

"I do trust you. Sometime's my mind is a dark place. I... just try to shield you from that."

Barbara kissed him gently. "Maybe I have the light."

He smiled. "Mmm, I think you do." This time their kiss was long and loving.

With his ankles still held apart by the spreader bar, Tommy could not roll her over. He wanted to make love to her and a wicked idea crossed his mind. "Barbara?"

"Mmm?" She moved her hips against him. "You want to handcuff me now, don't you?"

"Not exactly..." Tommy told her what he wanted to do.

Barbara undid his ankle restraints and walked to the table and felt the heavy leather straps. "You're right. It does tilt." She lay down and let him buckle her in.

* * *

Barbara poured the champagne as Tommy rigged the sails to go out onto the lake. "Are you sure you know how this thing works?"

"I've sailed since I was a boy. This is a beautiful yacht. Look at that timber-work."

"I know, but I'm not much of a sailor and it's getting dark."

"That's the idea. We will sail out and anchor under the stars."

"We won't be in a shipping lane?" Barbara handed him a flute that had been generously filled.

Tommy grinned at her. "It's a lake, not the mid-Atlantic."

"Still."

Tommy clinked his glass against hers. "It is an anchorage. With a buoy. Perfectly safe, but if you'd rather not go..."

"No. I trust you."

Tommy gave her a deeper than intended kiss. "You proved that yesterday."

"Hmm. Come on, or we'll be tied up here all night."

"Tied up? Hmm, is that Freudian?"

The night was clear and warm. They boat seemed to glide across the still water which reflected the stars and lights from the far shore in lines of silver, red and gold. From the helm, Tommy watched Barbara standing at the bow. Her hair was swaying with the motion of the yacht and the light breeze created by the yacht's movement forced her loose shirt against her body, highlighting her curves. She turned back and smiled at him. "We really are alone."

"Yes, we are."

Tommy checked his bearings then looked back at his wife. Her shirt was gone and as she turned towards the port side, her naked breasts caught the light. "Oh, yes."

She looked over and grinned. Her hand moved to her waistband. "Should I?"

"Yes." Barbara pulled her cargo pants off, leaving only the thong she had worn on the terrace. He hurriedly grabbed the hem of his polo shirt and pulled it over his head. The light, salty breeze made his nipples tighten. He tried to focus on sailing but the sight of his near-naked wife silhouetted against the sky was too distracting. He hurriedly pushed the lever to furl the sails and dropped the sea anchor from the stern.

Barbara stood on the bow watching the sky. Happy that the boat was safe, Tommy undid his shorts and let them fall to the deck. He walked up behind his wife and wrapped his arms around her. He nestled his erection cheekily in the groove of her backside, then groaned when he felt that her thong had vanished.

Barbara turned in his arms and kissed him. Gradually they lowered themselves onto the deck. Tommy intended to make love to her achingly slowly, aided by just the gentle sway of the boat.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note:** This story was primarily written to instructions/suggestions from others. I hope they have enjoyed the result. But it is now time to move on.

* * *

Tommy left the envelope with 800 euros propped up against the vase on the hall-stand. After their night making love on the deck of the yacht, Barbara had asked Tommy to ring Henry and see if they could stay longer than the original week. She had been able to relax here, and Tommy had happily obliged her. They had extended their stay by three glorious weeks and, despite the seemingly insatiable hunger they had for each other, they had managed to visit local villages, sample some of the best restaurants, walk up to the waterfall and sail on the lake.

Annoyed by the implication that he was an easy mark, Tommy had refused to pay the exorbitant 'cleaning' rate for each week, especially after Henry had confirmed that Antoinette's primary function had been to entertain. Tommy had quickly corrected his friend's protest that he assumed Tommy knew what the house contained and was looking for company. "I love my wife, and do not need any other women," he had almost yelled down the phone, which had earned him a loving cuddle from Barbara.

Adjacent to the first envelope, he left one with another 50 euros for the blindfolds and fur-lined handcuffs they had packed in their cases.

"Maybe we should just buy our own," Barbara said as she looked at the envelope. "What will that woman think?"

"You know what Henry said when I rang to extend our stay."

Barbara laughed. "You looked so embarrassed and indignant."

"Do you blame me? Offering Antionette for a threesome." Tommy shivered.

"It might have been fun."

"Barbara!"

"I was joking." Barbara put her arms around him and nestled her face against his chest. "I could never share you."

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "You'll never have to."

"I know. I actually believe that now. Thank you."

"I'm going to miss this place, Barbara."

"Me too. Did you want to... one last time?"

They had returned to the playroom twice, once at his instigation and another at Barbara's insistence when Tommy had confessed that he enjoyed the heightened sensations when he was restrained and deprived of his vision. Listening to Barbara's breathing as she gently teased his skin with different objects and textures was a far bigger turn-on than the sensations themselves. While she had always been an enthusiastic lover, he knew she had always felt, despite his reassurances to the contrary, that because of her lack of experience she never satisfied him as thoroughly as other women had done. The mild bondage they had engaged in was new to both of them, and Barbara had explained how important it had been for her to experience something with him that he had never had with anyone else. For Tommy, sex had never been about power, but ceding control of their bodies to the other had given her confidence in her ability to please him which was having rewards in their lovemaking and relationship outside of the room.

He looked at her eyes. They were shining with need and an edginess that would drive him mad on the long drive home. "Yes," he said huskily, "I do."

* * *

Back in London, Tommy procrastinated three days before he broached the subject that had been on his mind for a couple of weeks. Even then he waited until she was snuggled in his arms in front of the television. "Do you want to go back to Dr Hewitt?" he asked, hoping it sounded casual.

She shook her head. "No. We should wait another couple of weeks. Just to see."

He brushed a strand of hair from her face. "I can count, Barbara. I know what you're hoping."

"I've been late before." Tommy understood not to press her. "If I am, I hope it was that night on the yacht."

Tommy kissed her gently. "Or that afternoon up at the waterfall. I can still see you standing naked under it, calling me to you like a siren."

"Didn't they lure sailors to their death?"

"Okay, bad analogy, but I'm helpless to resist you."

She looked up and smiled. "I'm glad. I... I just want to please you."

Tommy kissed her hair and nestled her closer. "You do, but it's so much more than sex, Barbara. I love you."

Barbara reached up and pulled his face down to hers then kissed him savagely. "But the sex is good too?"

"Hmmm. It's always wonderful with you."

Barbara put her hand on his thigh and used her thumb to tease him. "This show is boring. We could go upstairs."

Tommy muted the television and lifted her onto his lap. "Or we could stay right here."

* * *

Tommy watched Barbara carefully. Her face betrayed nothing, but her eyes did, at least to him. Dr Hewitt had his glasses perched halfway down the mountain chain of his nose. He glanced up once or twice but irritatingly gave no hints to his thoughts.

In the weeks since their return, Tommy had become convinced Barbara was pregnant. She had completely lost her taste for alcohol, and the idea of beer made her feel ill. At the same time, she was constantly hungry and had taken to eating roti for every meal. What really surprised him was how voracious she had become in bed. Two, sometimes three, times a night she would wake him by initiating sex. He considered buying little blue pills until he explained to Barbara that he was unable to keep up with her. Ever the practical woman, as long as they made love before retiring, she had simply started to demand other forms of servicing when she woke during the night. Tommy had been happy to oblige.

Finally, Barbara had agreed to see the doctor. He had confirmed their suspicions but had also warned against the risks of starting a family at Barbara's age. She had agreed to an amniocentesis, and now they held hands in a death grip while they waited for the results.

"Well?" Tommy demanded.

"The tests confirm that congratulations are in order Lord and Lady Asherton. There were no genetic abnormalities detected in your baby, and all the scans indicate everything is progressing normally. As long as we keep that blood pressure of yours under control, I expect a completely healthy pregnancy."

"Thank you, Doctor."

Barbara wiped her eyes and sniffed far too loudly, but Tommy did not care about decorum. He was going to be a father with the woman he loved. "Yes, thank you, doctor."

"Do you want to know the gender?"

"Yes." Tommy did not care what is was, as long as their child was healthy.

"No." Barbara had replied at the same time. She looked at him and shrugged. "I don't want to disappoint you."

"You know me better than that."

"Yes, but I know you're under pressure for a son, an heir."

"No, I'm not, and I won't have you pressuring yourself."

Dr Hewitt harrumphed. Red-faced they both turned and looked at him. "It's a boy, so there is no need to fret and put that blood pressure up."

"A boy!" Barbara's smile lit up the office. Tommy could almost feel her relief as she let out a long sigh. "That does make it easier."

Tommy put his hand on her slightly swollen belly. "It wouldn't have mattered."

She took his hand and held it against her. "I know, but it mattered to me."

"Well, it seems your holiday worked out Lady Asherton. I knew some gentle lovemaking in a calm environment would do the trick." The doctor was oblivious to the sly smiles the couple gave each other. If he only knew that their lovemaking had been far from gentle at times.

"Doctor?"

"Yes, Lord Asherton, it is perfectly safe for you to continue to have sex."

Tommy felt his face heat up until the skin felt tight. Barbara's smile was taut, and he thought she might begin to roar with laughter any second. "I was going to ask which hospital you recommended for the birth," he said trying yo muster as much dignity as he could.

Now Doctor Hewitt turned red. "Sorry, M'lord, that's what most fathers ask first."

Now both Tommy and Barbara had trouble keeping straight faces and so bid hasty farewells. Once they were in the lift, Tommy wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. "We're going to have a wonderful little baby."

Barbara nodded and smiled at him. "The look on your face when he mentioned sex. Do you think he knows we've been at it like rabbits?"

"Probably." Tommy looked down at her stomach. "Well little man, creating you has been interesting with everything from sperm samples and prostitutes to presumptuous doctors."

"Tommy!"

He looked up and smiled. "But it was worth all the embarrassment."

"It was." Barbara stroked his face then kissed him. "And you heard what the doctor said. Maybe we could stop the lift and..."

Tommy kissed her hard. "There might be cameras."

"There's a hotel. Next door. We could..."

"Mmmm." Tommy reached into his pocket and held up the blindfold. "We could."


End file.
